Bill gates joke

Suppose Bill Gates died and He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God...
God said,'wellcome Mr.Richest person of the world...I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 98. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"


Bill Gates replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision." "Fine, but where should I go first?" God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you." Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell.

It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!" "Fine," said God and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell" he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Three weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded - his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

Then God quickly says, "That was the screen saver".

Health benefit of Smile

 

Take my smile and give me your's.

Humour Guru Mr.William Fry,M.D of Stanford University said,'Humour and creativity work in similar ways".

After half second of any kinds of good fun an electrical wave moves throgh the higher brain functions of the cerebal cortex.Then the left hemisphere analyzesthe words and structures of the joke.The right hemisphere gets the joke.The visual sensory area of the optical lobe creates images.The Limbic emotional system makes you more happier and the motor sections make your smile.

Have u ever had exhausted feelings after a good laugh by fun?Sure when it  happened the one where your side hurts,your eyes water,you can't catch breath.if feels like you have finished a two hour session at the gym!!!

Feeling crazy for good jokes?So let we know some valuable benefits of smile:

01. Lower blood pressure

02. Good fun Increase vascular blood flow and oxygenation of the blood

03.Give a workout to the diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles

04.Reduce certain stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline

05.Increase the response of tumor- and disease-killing cells such as Gamma-interferon and T-cells

06.Defend against respiratory infections–even reducing the frequency of colds–by immunoglobulon in saliva.

07.Increase memory and learning; in a study at Johns Hopkins University Medical School, humor during instruction led to increased test scores.

08.Improve alertness, creativity, and memory....

So let's start...ha ha  ha  ha .............

Indian and pakistani

Once upon a time an Indian and a Pakistani who lived near door to each other. The Indian have a hen and each morning he look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. 

In a rainy day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden!!!

He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.
The Pakistani refused bcz the egg was laid on his property. 

They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions. I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg." 

The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. 

The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"

World famous jokes

world famous joke

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
he asks the shopkeeper,'Does your dog bite?"


The shopkeeper says,'no,my dog does not bite".
The man tries to pat the dog and the dog bites him.

'ounch!!!"He says,'i thought you said your dog does not bite!!!"


The shopkeeper replied,'That is not my dog".

China joke

Chinese Pizza

An  American traveler goes to China on a travel trip, but he don’t Chinese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."

China joke

Chinese Pizza

An  American traveler goes to China on a travel trip, but he don’t Chinese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."

china joke

Chinese Sex

There was a Jews man who lived in China and when he was there he had a lot of sex and never used a condom the entire time he was there. Then he returned to America (second home)and one morning he woke up and noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis

The Jews worried out. He went to the doctor.

The doctor said "I have never seen anything like this before. We will need to run some tests."

So they ran some tests and he said come back in 3 days for your test results. The man came back in 3 days and the doctor said "I have some bad news.you have a disease called pongolion HP. It is very uncommon here and we now little about it. I'm sorry sir but we will need to cut your penis." The Jews was horrified. He think this is better to go back in China for better treatment.

So he again come back in China & went to a Chinese doctor thinking he would know more about it.

The doctor said "oh yes, pongolion HP, very dangerious then the Jews nation.”

The jews crying  & said ‘ american doctor wants to cut my penis.

China doctor become angry "Grrrrr….Stupid  american doctor only knows surgery,cut,cutting..opps…Grrrr…only thinkj make more money that way, no need cut."

The Jews smilling….’so don’t need cut..ha ha ha..”

Doctor says with very cool tone " "Yes,wait 2 weeks, it fall off by itself."