World famous jokes

world famous joke

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
he asks the shopkeeper,'Does your dog bite?"


The shopkeeper says,'no,my dog does not bite".
The man tries to pat the dog and the dog bites him.

'ounch!!!"He says,'i thought you said your dog does not bite!!!"


The shopkeeper replied,'That is not my dog".

China joke

Chinese Pizza

An  American traveler goes to China on a travel trip, but he don’t Chinese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."

China joke

Chinese Pizza

An  American traveler goes to China on a travel trip, but he don’t Chinese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."

China Joke

CHINA JOKE:CAPTAIN

Once upon a time an airplane takes off from the airport  in near latin American city. The captain of this plane was old Jewish and the first officer was young Chinese. It's the first time they were started flight together and it is obvious by the silence that they don't get along.

After one hour , the Jewish Captain open his lips, "I don't like Chinese."

The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no.why you not like Chinese?

 The JewsCaptain says, "You bombed our 2^nd motherland Pearl Harbor. So i don't like Chinese."

The First Officer. says, "No no no... Chinese not bombed in  Pearl Harbar. That  done by the Japanese, not Chinese."

And the Jews Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, they're all alike."

Another thirty minutes of silence  the young Chinese First Officer. says,

"I don’t  like the Jew."

The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don't you like the Jews?"

First Officer says, "Jews sink Titanic."

The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg."

The First Officer. replies," Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no matter. all same."

Husband and Wife

After a trip abroad,a lady inquired of her colored washerman,

"Luci,do you and your husband quarrel now the same as you used it?"

"No,indeed,maam,"

"That is good.I'm sure you're very glad of it,are't you?"

"Ah surely is."

"What caused you to stop quarreling,Lucy?"the lady asked.

The explanation was simple and sufficient:

"He died"

MAN AND WOMAN 2

Man:I could go to the end of the world for you..

Woman:ok.But would you stay there?



Man:I offer you myself...

Woman:I am sorry.I never accept cheap gift!!!



Man:I want to share everything with you.

woman:Let's start from your Bank a/c

WIFE AND HUSNBAND

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.''

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.''

''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?''

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.

The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''

ADAM'S THOUGHT

ADAM’S THOUGHT
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. God asked him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam replied that he was lonely and didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.
Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Adam thought a moment and asked, "What can I get for a rib?"